Nat’s Nerdles Blog – 22nd March 2009
Hello and welcome to mine blog. Firstly, an apology for not updating last week, had a really bad virus. Anyway, I’ve just got one thing to write about really this week, and that is my encounter with the much talked about movie Watchmen which I went to see yesterday. Consequently it will absorb all of my usual filmic/gaming sections. I’ve cunningly entitled it:
Watching the Watchmen? Never again.
My expectations for the film Watchmen were pretty high, considering everything that I’d heard about it. Having not actually fully read the comic books (only snippets) I’ll admit that I wasn’t wholly au fait with the whole Watchmen Universe. But I figured, that’s okay, perhaps it’s even better. After all, my highly critical nature for the one and only Batman has really sprung from the fact that I spent far too much time geeking out about him through my younger years, and subsequently it left me bitterly disappointed when I saw Nolan’s first interpretation of the anti-hero of Gotham. It’s funny how sometimes knowing so much about a subject can make you so insanely judgemental.
Anyway, returning to the film in question, as I made a date with my friend to go and fuel my curious need towards this hundredth comic-to-film movie, I was filled with an expectancy that was perhaps a little foolish (retrospectively speaking).
What I was left with, at the end of possibly the longest 3 hours of my life, was a feeling of utter disenchantment and the sad realisation that there was really no point to the story whatsoever. Not only was there really no point to the story, the futility of it was proven by the unsatisfactory ending. (Be aware that from here on in I may well release spoilers to demonstrate what I’m talking about, so if you haven’t seen the film and don’t want it ruined please be aware of spoilers to follow.)
My first criticism is simple. There was an easy way to make the film lessconfusing. Speaking as someone who doesn’t really know the storyline all that well, I found the whole damn thing a headache to keep in touch with. I can imagine for the fans of the comic that this wouldn’t be a problem, but as a film-maker that is a fundamental fact to be aware of – your film must make sense to the audience on the most basic level. And frankly, from my perspective, Watchmen didn’t – and yet it could have been so easily rectified. All that needed to be done was either to split the film into two or to simply put up subtitles explaining whose story they were on. This was done to an extent during the Rorschach sequences – which, to be honest, made the most sense and were the most entertaining bits of the film, in my opinion. I’m referring to how Rorschach narrated in a manner that was reminiscent of Sin City, speaking as if it was entries from his journal. However, this didn’t follow for the rest of the film. If you want an example of what I’m talking about, the confusion of the story was evident particularly during the funeral of The Comedian (who I absolutely hated as a character, but then I think perhaps this was intended). The scene jumped about so much that I almost felt dizzy.
My second criticism is also pretty straightforward. The soundtrack was absolutely hideous. You cannot comprehend how hideous it was unless you actually hear it. Seriously, it sounded to me as if the real soundtrack CD had exploded, and they were forced to make a last minute one out of The Greatest Pop Hits of the 90’s, which was nicked out of the caterer’s van. Okay, that’s somewhat of an exaggeration. It could have been the director’s car, for sure. I mean, playing 99 Red Balloons in German during a serious scene…it actually made me laugh out loud. Especially when Hallelujah was played during a god-awful sex scene. Dear God, even the Benny Hill theme would have been an improvement. I can imagine Hans Zimmer and John Williams hanging their heads in disgust as their livelihoods are dragged through the dirt by a lazy film-maker. I’m not being harsh. Music is the most important part of a film, to capture the emotions and the energy of the moments. Nothing annoys me more than films being unoriginal, and soundtracks are no exception to the rule. I mean, I had a soundtrack written for my short film at Uni, so really these Hollywood guys have no excuse.
Third criticism is predictability. After seeing that, there is no way that I would want to read the comic books if they are that predictable. In fact, it was so predictable that I considered walking out half way through as I was sure that I’d guess the ending correctly. I’ve only ever walked out of one film and that was Batman Begins. Actually, I almost walked out of King Kong too. Now I can add Watchmen to that very short list.
But now, let’s break it up with something that I did like about the film. That is also simple. Rorschach. I absolutely, categorically loved him. Everything about him (For the record, my favourite scene was the one in the jailhouse). He reminded me of a more sane version of the Joker. I’ve always had a thing for the really messed up, troubled characters, but what I really loved about him was that he cared. He was a complete sociopath but he cared. For people who watched the film, did any of you actually notice that he was the only one who did anything in the whole damned flick? He saw that people were being murdered and he wanted to do something about it. All that the other characters did were hide, sleep together or just blow up some stuff.
Dr. Manhattan? Get lost, stay on Mars for all I care you emotionless idiot.
Silk Spectre II? One word: totty. Put some clothes on, love. Although, I’m not sure that seeing you in lyrca is any better than seeing you nude so perhaps scrap that one.
Dan (whose superhero name was never said but I know was Nite Owl II)? Stop being such a wet blanket. Stop being such a goody two-shoes. Grow some balls. You’re a Superman clone, and that isn’t a good thing in my book.
Rorschach was the only one who held any kind of interest for me. Any scenes he wasn’t in, I was bored. Any sequences which weren’t relating to his story, and I was yawning in the aisles. He stole the show. And you know what they did? THEY KILLED HIM. And no one even really bothered that much. No one killed the guy who had spent the whole film manipulating everyone and killed millions, oh no. No, he was fine. But Rorschach, the one who spent the whole film trying to sort things out, he gets vaporised and no one blinks an eyelid? I tell you, it took all my strength not to leave there and then. As far as I’m concerned the film ended then, along with any hopes that I had for it.
The reason I’m so angry about it is really obvious, if you know me at all. As a self-proclaimed Deontologist, I find the Utilitarian villains the most taxing. For those who don’t understand what I’m talking about, Utilitarian people make choices based on the outcome – ignoring the smaller repercussions because they are viewed as ‘necessary sacrifices’ to reach the ultimate goal. For example, Veidt was a Utilitarian, because he thought it was okay to kill millions in order to preserve billions. However, a Deontologist cannot do that, because killing people is fundamentally wrong (the most famous Deontologist is Batman; this is why he will never kill the Joker). This is what Rorschach was saying. It doesn’t matter that you’ve saved billions of people, you killed millions which is unjust and unfair, no matter which way you look at it. Why were their lives any less valid than those of the ones which you preserved? It’s a matter of opinion but that’s mine and it cannot be changed. Thus, the fact that the only damned Deontologist in the film got blown up but the Utilitarian idiot survived got me somewhat riled.
Whose watching the Watchmen? Well, I won’t be. Ever again.
And now, as I run from the hordes of Watchmen fanatics who want my blood, I bid you all goodbye, until next time.
xNx
Related posts:
- Nat’s Nerdles Blog – Sunday February 22nd 2009
- Nat’s Nerdles Blog – Sunday 8th of March 2009
- B-Minor’s Nerdles Blog – Sunday March 8th, 2009
- Nat’s Nerdles Blog – Sunday March 1st 2009
- B-Minor’s Nerdles Blog – Sunday March 1st, 2009
Oh and while I remember…
Despite all the nice things I was trying to say just a moment ago, Dr Manhatten's 'wow my girlfriend's dad is a misognistic wanker, this proves humanity is worth saving' is by far one of the WORST plot devices I have ever seen in a film.
I actually liked Watchmen…
The only thing that bothered me was the over use of the bullet-time, which seems to be the directors personal vice. It was over-used and got old really, really fast in my opinion.
I did think it sucked Roarsach was killed off, but I kinda figured what you said about Roarsach dying and Veidt survivng slightly missed a point. I thought it was something similar to the point in the film where Veidt points out his master plan had been done already, it was taking the genre and twisting it on its head. If it had been spider-man or superman, yeah Veidt would've died in some stupid accidental way.
Also I thought the soundtrack was chosen to go with the time period the film was set in.
I do agree about Silk Spectre and Nite-Owl being… blah characters. Neither of them offered us anything particularly interesting. Roarsach was kick-ass.
Not the best film I've seen recently, but still entertaining enough to stop me ripping out my own eye balls out of sheer frustration.
Which, incidentally, is how I expect to react to Dragonball Evoluton.
You're so eloquent, Griff. I think you should go in for politics.
xNx
What's with all the essays for comments?
Let me put my opinion of the Watchmen in one word…
Shit
Carly: I'm glad that someone agrees!! I thought that everyone would hate me for it as I've heard mostly positive reviews, but it's good to know that I'm not alone in my dislike of said film. Bring on Wolverine, taking it you're a fangirlie too? I'm a huge Gambit fan, so I cannae wait.
Alastair: Thank you, glad you enjoyed the read. And hey, like I said, it's all just opinion. I'm sure – actually, it's a fact – that there are people who loved both the comics and the film. I can only comment on the latter, having never really given the comics a chance, but my opinions shall stay the same I'm afraid. Every plot related problem relates to me as a person; fundementally I find Utilitarian ways the most aggravating thing in the world, so the film-makers were already at a disadvantage with me before they even started to get into the plotlines. Although, most people I've spoken to have expressed their anger towards the fact that Viedt was left standing when the best character was pulverised. Surely, you must admit, Rorschach is the best character in Watchmen.
And as for not being able to relate to the characters, I'll simply throw this one at you – if you can't relate to them, then what's the point?
What am I possibly going to get out a film that I can't connect with? The whole reason I see films is for the narrative aspects (screw the Hollywood glitz and glamour special effects), because frankly Alastair that's all a film is. It's a story-telling medium, and that's what I'm after – a good story, with interesting scenes, plot twists and characters that I hold empathy for. Otherwise I just come away feeling empty and disappointed.
But perhaps I read into these things too deeply. Still, can't change the way I am!! Thanks for the comments guys, it's much appreciated!
xNx
Great blog Nat! I'm seeing Watchemn on the IMAX this Thursday. Having read the entire graphic novel I'm thoroughly looking forward to it. I'll say this though Nat; every plot-related problem you seem to have with this film… is precisely what makes the story so unique and poignant! (though I make that point in terms of subjective preference). Perhaps some of this was lost in the translation from novel to cinematic medium, wich in itself wouldn't be surprising. But I still maintain (Carly and Nat), you aren't meant to relate to the characters! Dr Manhattan is SUPPOSED to be the indifferent, humanity-numbed and cold individual that he is. Night-Owl is SUPPOSED to be a wet blanket (and is very, very, certainly not supposed to be modeled after Superman). The Comdeian is SUPPOSED… I'll stop there.
I can see how the film probably fails to impress quite a few people. Zack Snyder seems to have taken a novel that's inherently bleak and filled with complex, f$%^ed up characters and turned into his usual bang bang, glitz glitz, glamour glamout fighting extrravaganza. But I suppose I will have to wait and see on Thursday!
Interesting blog!! And I totally agree with the soundtrack issues. I saw it with 2 friends and we all totally… gaffawed i think is the right word, at the absolutely insane music choices. 99 red balloons certainly being the most surprising. was it supposed to be ironic? that wasn't clear at all was it, it just seemed stupid. was a silly silly film that featured way too many close ups of a floppy blue penis for my liking. i felt physically sick over the dr Manhattan character by the end – he was just BAD. i had no expectations of this film yet still managed to walk away disappointed. but i do hope wolverine will be everything I'm expecting. I hope so much that its as amazing as its supposed to be. watchmen was awful! x
I'm sorry Guy, I'm faaaaaaaaaaaaaar too hyper-critical about films. It's the only thing in the world that I'm opinionated on…
No, by basics what I mean is making the film script understandable. The Matrix was understandable, Watchmen wasn't. It made absolutely no sense whatsoever, everyone I know who has seen it agrees, unless you've read the comics it's impossible to follow what's going on.
I get the feeling I'm in the dog house now…
xNx
Nat
getting the basics wrong isn't always a bad thing, if you think about the photography in The Matrix they broke a lot of rules, but…..
I am just a dum-ass country boy who is way out of his depths talking about movies though… so don't take what I say too seriously
gc
Wow, inspired blog. I'm not looking forward to the Watchmen, I never was. I read half of the comic books, got bored by what I considered to be Alan Moore at his most pretentious and visited Wikipedia to get the rest of the story.
It seems to me that everyone loves Alan Moore but personally, I find his comics to be nothing more than bland stories masked by clever writing. There is nothing to be celebrated about the man, in my opinion he is overrated.
I will definitely NOT be going to the cinema to watch this one and rather like Guy, in a couple of years time when I look back at these past few months I will not have any regrets for not watching the Watchmen but I do suspect I'll have a few more than I have now about missing Bolt in 3D.
I think you missed the underlying point of my article. Amidst the angst towards the rubbish movie was the point is that the film industry is going down the toilet somewhat. I see so few films that impress me these days – even in genres that I really know about, like comic adaptations. (The story is there for them on a plate, which should make it slightly easier, surely?)
Come come, put the claws away Guy, It's not being conformist to have an opinion about a film, now is it? I didn't hate Watchmen really, I've seen worse films, but I'm now extremely worried about the upcoming Wolverine film. If they mess that one up, believe me, there will be war.
What also annoys me is that I spent a long time learning how to make films, and to get the fundemental parts wrong (regardless of whether it's Watchmen, Love Actually or Schindlers List) is what drives me insane. It's not THAT hard to get those bits right, or at least it shouldn't be. The hard part is coming up with a story that is entertaining, original and a cast that can act.
Well, that's my opinion anyway, for what it's worth. Which isn't a lot!
xNx
PS. ABUSE OF POWER! I call for sledgehammer punishment.
I love being an admin on this site.
1. I am commenting on your blog before it's published – FEAR MY GEEK POWER!
2. I do not feel obliged to conform to the norm and love/hate Watchmen, do you know what? I dont care. I almost care, if it was a good movie I would go and see it, but to be honest I am more upset about missing Bolt in 3D