Behind The Screen

I’ve spent my life disappointing women and this week’s column is going to start that way again I’m afraid. Every woman’s favourite ‘Lost’ bad boy, ‘Sawyer’ actor Josh Holloway, has become a father for the first time.

The actor and his wife Yessica Kumala welcomed daughter Java Kumala Holloway, which I assume is some kind of computer programming language, on Thursday, April 9 in Hawaii. She was due earlier but there were some buffering issues.

Holloway, 39, proposed to Yessica Kumala at the end of shooting the ‘Lost’ pilot in Hawaii and were wed in October 2004.
Sorry for the early finish ladies, I must be stressed or something.

The new series of ‘South Park’ has been as awesome as ever and last week’s slaughtering of Kanye West was hilarious. In a surprising show of humility, West has admitted on his blog that his feelings were hurt by a recent ‘South Park’ episode that portrayed him as humourless and ego-driven; but that he could see the writers’ point and had been trying to keep his pride in check since becoming successful. But he is not a gay fish.

West said: “‘South Park’ murdered me last night and it’s pretty funny. It hurts my feelings but what can you expect from ‘South Park’!”
“I actually have been working on my ego though. Having the crazy ego is played out at this point in my life and career. I use to use it to build up my esteem when nobody believed in me.”

He added: “Now that people do believe and support my music and products the best response is ‘Thank you’ instead of ‘I told you so!!!’ It’s cool to talk s**t when you’re rapping but not in real life. I need to just get past myself. Drop the bravado and just make dope product. Everything is not that serious. I got a long road ahead of me to make people believe I’m not actually a huge douche, but I’m up for the challenge.”

West thanked the ‘South Park’ writers for drawing his crew and said that he was sure that they were “really nice people” in real life.

Can anyone else hear the sound of gritted teeth while reading that sentence?!

‘The Hills’ star Lauren Conrad will be making a guest appearance in an upcoming episode of ‘Family Guy’. All I know about ‘The Hills’ is that it’s on MTV, and involves loads of spoilt girls having relationships with spoilt guys in Abercrombie. Sounds similar the the Welsh version ‘The Pills’, where loads of girls spoiled by drink and drugs have multiple children with similar guys in Aberaeron.

Apparently, the fashion designer’s stint on the show will see her embark on a romance with talking dog Brian, unaware that he is actually interested in somebody else. “She dates Brian for an episode, but I’m not going to spoil it” said show creator Seth MacFarlane, who provides Brian’s voice.

Conrad’s episode is scheduled to air on May 3rd in the US.

New television programmes in the US and UK are to look at the threat of pirates off the coast of east Africa following the recent events in the news. I miss the cool, camp pirates like Johnny Depp, they were fine.

US cable station Spike TV has announced a documentary which will follow the US navy’s efforts to curb piracy and Ross Kemp is to front a three-part series for Sky in the UK about the Royal Navy’s anti-pirate patrols.

Sky’s ‘Ross Kemp on Gangs’ is scheduled to air on Sky1 in the summer.
The former EastEnders star is filming at other locations around the world which are also troubled by piracy. He said: “The pirates are ruthless and wouldn’t think twice about slitting our throats for a few dollars.”

I panicked when I saw on the news that America were going zero tolerance on piracy and were actually killing the people involved – I binned all my downloaded films and stopped wearing my eye patch.

Jack Bauer will be saving the world from New York City on season 8 of ‘24′.

The FOX series, which has been based in Washington this season, is set to begin filming in late spring and thus will have a significant portion of the production behind it when it hits the air in January 2010. As has been the case for much of this D.C.-set season, ‘24′ will actually do most of its filming at its Los Angeles home base. It’s expected, though, that Kiefer Sutherland and the crew will take a field trip or two to New York to shoot some scenes.

Season eight will also feature ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ star Anil Kapoor as a Middle Eastern leader who comes to the United States on a peace mission. It is also rumoured that Jack and Chloe (Mary Lynn Rajskub) will be working at a reconstituted CTU.
There’s no word yet on who will be leading the unit, or which other regulars from the current season will return.

Finally, Fox is rumored to be axing ‘Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles’. I tried it out and wasn’t impressed at all; I walked away after 4-5 episodes.

According to Entertainment Weekly, the network will not be renewing the show for a third season. An unnamed source told the site: “It’s done. Everyone has pretty much known for a couple of weeks. Consider it cancelled.”

However, a Fox representative insisted that the network is still deciding the fate of the show. “No decision has been made yet. We will be announcing our Fall schedule on May 18.”

Hasta La Vista, Baby