Hello and welcome to my new weekly column for Nerdles.com.

My handle is Sock and I’ll be spending my time with you guys over the coming months ranting about all kinds of crazy shit the folks over in Hollywood are up to.

Ahem…

(Insert awkward silence…)

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Okay, deep breath…

So, with my introduction out of the way I’ll get down to the first of my weekly rants.

Rumors are beginning to circulate that Christopher Nolan will not direct the third Batman movie. Some reports say that he’s not coming back but if he does, it won’t be until at least 2012.

Some are even saying that he might pull a Peter Jackson and simply produce.

Personally, I don’t care what he does but if he does decide to helm the third movie, seriously, announce something soon goddamit!

With some of the characters at advanced ages, i.e.; Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine, waiting 4 years between a franchise movie is, not to sound too doom and gloom; a little risky.

The question is will Warner Bros even want to wait for Nolan?

Maybe a new director is what the next Batman movie needs?

It could be argued that the only place for Nolan to go with Batman franchise is down.

Let’s take a look at it from Nolan’s perspective. He’s just made the single most successful superhero movie in history and in doing so he used the franchise’s most iconic character; the Joker, the one that audiences identify with more than any other and the actor playing him went and died. This in effect makes it almost impossible for the character to feature in any future Batman movies. It’s pretty clear that they’re not going to use another Joker so where can Nolan go?

Maybe a new director with a new vision is just what the movie needs to avoid overly critical comparisons with Dark Knight.

Personally, I’ve got a feeling Nolan’s going to walk and then I think we’re going to see another X-Men style screw up. Remember how that franchise went tits-up? Singer left that franchise on a dark cliffhanger, perfectly poised for an explosive third movie and he walked away knowing deep down that he couldn’t better X-Men 2. And so we ended up with X-Men 3 and that’s all I’m prepared to say about that movie.

Hey, here’s a thought, why not give the next Batman to Dark Knight co-writer David S Goyer?

It’s just a thought…

Anyway, while we’re on the subject of superhero movies, M Night Shyamalan has been talking about doing a sequel to Unbreakable. Okay, I love the idea but seriously, Shyamalan has done so much damage to his name that I can’t help but shudder at the thought of what he’ll do to Unbreakable 2. The first movie was and still is, in my humble opinion, one of the greatest Superhero origin stories I have ever seen, and the ending, just as David Dunn was accepting his role, was a perfect way to set up a franchise.

But, Shyamalan moved on to bigger and “better” projects and the sequel the ending teased at never came. But now, after a series of progressively worse movies has chipped away at his reputation he starts taking the idea of an Unbreakable sequel seriously.

It’s funny that only now, after some proper turkeys is he prepared to revisit the story and start a franchise.

Talking about franchises, the A-Team cast is slowly coming together with recent reports that Liam Neeson and Bradley Cooper have signed up to play Hannibal and Face respectively.

Mmm, okay, I love the idea of Neeson playing Hannibal but Cooper as Face?

I’m not convinced that this is such a good move. I hate it when Hollywood does this, okay I get it, Cooper is hot right now after The Hangover kicked ass at the box office but seriously, casting him as Face?

I may be being a little too harsh on Bradley here but is he really good looking enough to play Face?

I don’t think so.

Some quick remake news.

• It seems that the Conan movie has got its lead with Austrian Arnie-clone Roland Kickinger wielding the sword.
• The classic 70′s comedy Meatballs is getting the remake treatment with Paramount producing.
• Teen Wolf is to be brought kicking and screaming into present day, though I have to query whether or not college basketball rules would allow a werewolf to play basketball against students in this litigious age we live in.

Thoughts of the week…

• So, Will Smith is taking a break from acting to look after the kids. Seriously though, look after the kids? If he really wanted to look after the kids he’d start by advising junior to not make the Kung Fu Kid.
• Friday the 13th sequel to go 3D!
  Seriously, why?
  Although I must confess to being somewhat interested to see what a 3D breast implant flying at me looks like. It’ll be funny to see how many guys open their mouths at my local cinema.
• And we end with the news that Wes Craven won’t be watching the new Nightmare on Elm Street remake. C’mon Wes, what’s wrong? Classics the originals may be but they haven’t aged well. In fact, they aged badly within months of their video releases. The guys producing the remake have a solid pedigree and will really show us how to make a proper Paedo Dream Demon movie!

Hang on, didn’t Michael Jackson already make one of those? I think it was called Moonwalker…

Adios!

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