Bi-Weekly Bugle – Issue 1

Greetings, children, I’m Christopher. My parents just stopped there. Just kidding -that was a Brokeback Mountain quote.

So anyway, I figured I’d introduce myself a little. I’m part time employed, which means to say my degree in Film & Video counts for nothing, my philosophy on film is “Just because I like film, doesn’t mean I like want to hear your opinions on them“. And quite honestly, If I want your opinion on a film, I’ll give it to you. I’m a huge moaner and like to complain that I haven’t got enough to moan about (on the rare occasion that happens).

Aside from films, I very, very much enjoy comic books and games. I do believe that an Xbox Elite is the greatest thing a man can own, I’m currently hunting 1750Gs on Gears of War 2. Which will come eventually.

Anyway, enough about me, this is *hopefully* going to be my bi-weekly(-ish) column, in which I’ll be writing about upcoming things that better be awesome, and whining about the things that sucked that I expected to be awesome, unlike the first feature piece of the movie I saw this week… (Oh, spoilers are ON)

Roland Emmerich’s 2012. Note I said ‘movie’ not ‘film’. Now, I was very aware of what I was going to see when I (didn’t) pay to go see it, I expected mass explosions and terribly convenient coincidences and, well, a late-summer comedy. Which is exactly what I got. What I hate about these types of films, though, is the sheer amount of ‘last second’ revivals and it’s lack of any kind of continuity – Cusack’s limo driving is phenomenal… So phenomenal that he can drive entirely through a building with the windshield still entirely intact, while the life-saving arc’, built to withstand Armageddon, needed an Autoglass repairman, almost immediately.

Amanda Peet was as stunning as ever, but nowhere near as amazing as she was in Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, moved from amazing dialogue ensemble actress to being a selfish attention seeker. She’s the one who convinces her boyfriend Gordon – the hero of the film, entirely – who, after only having a few ’single engine flying lessons’, to unwillingly fly a plane, and after that, she offers him to upgrade from a bi-plane to a god-damn giant Russian Jumbo-Jet-Concorde-Space-Station-esque thing, just so she can live. Then, when he dies, the kids nor his Peet care – even though HE’s the reason they’re there. Poor Gordon, I take my hat off to you.

What I hate the MOST about this movie, though, is that Stargate and Independence Day are brilliant films, (the latter being something I quote quite frequently) is that Emmerich simply melded together a ton of Disaster movies, like Deep Impact, Armageddon, Volcano, Dante’s Peak, Twister, War Of The Worlds… and made a pile of CG dogshit, there was simply NO NEED for this film, it’s been done before. A black president mentioning a lottery? A tidal wave crushing a shack on top of a mountain? Oh come on, reinvent yourself. It doesn’t seem like anyone wants me to enjoy a film lately.

Coming up though, I’m really up for The Informant. Soderbergh is a personal favorite of mine, and Damon, as always, gets my attention. Fingers crossed this won’t be a disaster. At the very least, i’m expecting to at least leave with a non-frowning face, very much in the same way Michael Clayton kept me two years ago.

This week I’ll be reading Amazing Spider-Man: Ultimate Collection volume 1, by J Michael Straczynski. Which is phenomenal, and I urge everyone to pick it up, even though it was wiped out of continuity (and new-spidey continuity is even better), it’s still worth a darned good read, or at least a skim through. Or at least ask me for a summary, so you can decide to buy it then. There’s some decent comics out this week, including, Detective Comics, Criminal: The Sinners, Northlanders, and Superman: Secret Origins, sadly, they’re all Trade buys for me, so I gotta wait. What I don’t have to wait for is Blackest Night (which I’m not enjoying that much) and Amazing Spider-Man, which I am loving recently, I cannot get enough of Spider-Man these days. Which I thoroughly recommend.

So yeah, this’ll be my first article, over with. Not much fun or informative? In fact, reading over it, I’m not even happy with it? But nevermind. I hope you come back to another week (assuming this gets printed….)

Until then, Laters!