The Totally Unofficial 5 Bestest Movies Ever

Police Story

Now this was a hard decision. I had to choose one, and I was tempted to pick Drunken Master 2 but went with Police Story because it has been in my life the longest…like loving your eldest child a little more than the youngest one.

The film stars the one man stunt factory Jackie Chan playing the films protagonist; model detective Kevin Chan. After an attempted drug bust of the local crime lord goes awry, culminating in an amazing scene where Chan skis with the aid of a bus, the bad guy goes free. It’s then up to detective Chan to protect the crime lord’s assistant so she is able to testify against him. We then are treated to more excellent choreography courtesy of Chan and his stunt team and on occasion I had to remember to close my jaw as it had a tendency to drop.

Here’s the skinny. If you enjoy people getting hit in the face with bodily appendages and the odd towel then this is the first place you go to on your journey of ass-kickery. As an added bonus you are also treated to a solid balance of serious and comedic acting which breathes life into what is a common staple of the detective tale.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0REQtuZyX8

Pretty Woman

Maybe I chose this film because in my past life I worked as a ‘lady of the night’ and it resonates deep down within my soul like some sort of gas build-up. However, as with a lot of peoples (especially mine) our top lists have their balance of nostalgia and of course our own opinions.

I’m a fan of the rom-coms as friends of mine know, I am picky though and Pretty Woman is one of my favourites. I can’t explain why, maybe I’m waiting for someone to climb up my fire escape with a bouquet of roses…hint.

The story is about prostitute, Julia Roberts who gets picked up by businessman Richard Gere. Also, upon doing a little research to refresh my memory I noticed the tag line is “Who knew it was so much fun to be a hooker?” If that’ the case I feel tempted to put on a tube top and some ass-less chaps while parading down a rough area of London. I digress. Roberts and Gere’s relationship grows throughout the film eventually blossoming into love but of course with the usual boy meets girl, boy loses girl etc.

If you haven’t seen this iconic film then you haven’t discovered the soft and creamy centre that dwells within us all. It’s well acted and a solid romantic comedy and when watching these things people want that formula so you can all collectively leave with a warm feeling inside.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-r8N6I4ENL4

The Last Boy Scout

I could have quite easily devoted a whole top film list to Brucie but I thought I best whittle it down to probably my most favourite of his many films. The Last Boy Scout is a film directed by Tony Scott that is about a burnt out detective (Willis) and an ex-quarterback (Wayans) as they team up to solver a murder case involving a pro football team and a politician.

What sets this film apart from most other ‘buddy’ films is that there is actual good on-screen chemistry between Willis and Wayans. It also a genuinely funny film that mixes well with all the action sequences. The script is solid and written by Shane Black who’s portfolio includes the Lethal Weapon series and another one of my favourite films; Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

It’s a classic 80′s action film in the most respects but it never opens itself up to that stereotype and still appears fresh on repeat viewings. I would highly recommend the film to anyone who enjoys explosions, broken noses and witty one-liners, in particular “you couldn’t protect a warm cup of piss”.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LatLghA9Ig

The Fifth Element

One of my favourite films from writer/director Luc Besson. Some of you may hate and say that Leon or La Femme Nikita is a far superior piece of cinema but for me this is one of the best SciFi movies my eyes have had the pleasure of absorbing. One of the reasons is that it isn’t one of those wholly serious ‘the aliens are going to destroy us so send a white American to sort it out’ but a film that has romance and comedic elements. Besson wrote the story when he was in High school which no doubt is a testament to his writing ability and it turned out as something that has a lovable quirkiness to it.

The film revolves around Korben Dallas (10 points if you read it in Chirs Tuckers voice) as the unwitting taxi driver with a smoking habit who has Leeloo, played by Milla Jovovich fall into his lap, or more specifically through his taxis roof. He is dragged on a journey into space to find four stone artifacts that will help conquer a new evil that is threatening the galaxy. Their main adversary during the film is Mr. Zorg aka Gary Oldman who pretty much steals the show by drinking a cup of crazy before each take.

It’s not only the characters that all turn out excellent performances but the sets and atmosphere of the film really help sell to the audience this bright and peculiar world. Performances are superb from the whole cast and it’s still a film that I could happily watch until my eyes fall out.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aB-AUTGqUCU

Ninja Scroll

I have a great love for anime which causes my pants to tighten on many an occasion but Ninja Scroll has to be one of the best films I have seen. It is the story of wandering swordsman Jubie who, after saving a female ninja gets thrown into a conspiracy involving demons and a man from Jubie’s past who he thought was dead.

Quite a few people would contest that a Miazaki film (Princess Mononoke etc) would be the best example of Japanese visual story telling but I find most of his movies far too saccharine for my taste. I think what this movie does best is that it keeps its romantic elements very subtle and doesn’t beat the audience over the head with a love hammer. I found this made it more believable and engaged to a larger extent. The action sequences and animation still stand up to this day even though it was produced over 15 years ago which is a testament to its team. Ninja Scroll also has a gritty quality to its script which I really identify with due to the fact that the world isn’t like a child’s fingerprint portrait but more like a canvas beaten with fists of paint.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOf0orgp6ig

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