The Pritchett family gets some very, very bad news.
It all begins during Phil’s regular physical when his doctor finds a questionable painful lump under Phil’s right armpit during. They run some tests, and the doctor promises to call back. It all goes downhill here from there, and like Phil says when the doctor asks him to bend over, “Let’s dim the lights, crank up the Norah Jones, and get this over with.” (Phil pulls down his pants. Hilarious.)
While Phil waits for his doctor’s call, a contest sprouts up between Mitchell and Cameron. Mitchell wins a trophy for being an awesome environmental lawyer, and lays it on top of the mantle of the fireplace. The next day, Cameron one ups him, and places a much bigger trophy (for winning some farm fishing contest when he was twelve) on the mantle. And, well, if you’re a fan of the show like I am, there’s some super queer (read: funny) bickering between the gay couple. At the same time, Jay and Manny’s father (Yes! He makes a return in this episode.) go to the tracks. Each also tries to one up each other about who can pick the right horses to win each race. Javier wins and impresses Manny, and Jay feels less like a father and becomes a sore loser.
This whole time it turns out Phil’s doctor did call him, but Phil missed his call. The doctor said he’d call if there was something wrong, so Phil acts like his days are numbered. What’s worse, his lifetime supply of razors has just run out (he won some lame prize on a Jeopardy-ish show he was on in college). Could this be a sign? Even worse, Gloria has a bad dream which gets ridiculously connected to Phil’s nearing demise. Gloria being Gloria, she brings her Spanish sultriness and contacts the whole family about Phil’s “death.”
At the show’s end, the whole family gathers waiting on Phil. Claire thinks her husband is just acting up, but her father thinks its odd the doctor calls on a Saturday since they don’t usually call on Saturdays unless it’s bad news, according to Jay. This finally breaks Claire, and Phil now seeing Claire freak, freaks out even more. Of course, the doctor calls at the height of all the panic and gives Phil the news. Turns out Phil is fine and the doctor just calls for some real estate advice. Crazy!
Photo courtesy of Modern Family.