Ellen talks with the hardest-working person in Hollywood, her Idol ex-colleague Ryan Seacrest. Aside from hosting the biggest show on Earth, he produces Keeping Up with Kardashians and hosts his hit radio show. He says that Steven Tyler secretly auditions for Idol. He tells Ellen that Steven A 4-year-old geography expert identifies countries and states. Ellen gives $10,000 each to four kids of a substitute teacher. One son sobs as he hugs Ellen.
Ellen talks about two men who measured the Subway foot-long sandwich found that it was 11 inches long. Ellen thinks that only men would do this, and if a woman did it, it wouldn’t take two of them. Ellen says that if they’re complaining about the wrong thing. Since they live in New Jersey, shouldn’t they complain about it being called the Garden State? So if the foot-long isn’t really a foot long, what else isn’t true? Is Cap’n Crunch really a captain? Ellen also points out that Subway did not say whose foot it is, that three of her nieces’ feet would fit into a Subway sandwich, that’s why they eat in the yard.
Someone sends in a bust of Tony, which Ellen says that he could give it to his girlfriend for Valentine’s. Tony hahas, and Ellen’s haha is funny.
Curtis Hotel has an Ellen and Portia package which includes blonde wigs, one long and one short. Portia has cut her hair short, so Ellen calls up Curtis to send them new photos of Ellen and Portia and to pretend to reserve a room. Ellen will fly Connie, the person who answers the call, to the show, to be in the audience.
4-year-old Aidan Garcia identifies photos of states like Texas, Tennessee, Michigan, North Carolina, Florida, California, Louisiana, Maine and Kansas and countries highlighted in a world map like “Monzabique,” which gets a laugh from the audience, Canada, Australia, Portugal, Indonesia and the Philippines. He started learning about geography from iPad games.
The sobjerker of the show is Ellen presenting a $ 10,000 check for the college education of each of a substitute teacher’s four kids. Ry’Shonda had written Ellen to ask for a way to thank Diane Toby for helping her out every Christmas. Ellen gives Diane and her family a Jamaican vacation.
Ryan Seacrest tells Ellen that Steven Tyler secretly auditions for the Idol episode airing tonight, which I will recap. He also talks about how difficult it is to top girlfriend Julianna Hough. Ellen shows a papparazzi photo of her dive from a ship. Ryan talks about his hot air balloon ride, where he lands on top of the pilot, and Ellen and Portia’s birthday party, where Julianna brokedance or breakdanced.
That’s our recap of The Ellen DeGeneres show today, 1/31/13. We’ll have another recap tomorrow. Until then, please check out our Ellen DeGeneres Show archives HERE.
Image credit: The Ellen DeGeneres Show